The following prayer-poem penned by Dr. Clarissa Estes, has been put forth at the United Nations, and presented during a tribal women’s coalition in South Africa, as well as carried into session at the parliament in the Netherlands, and given before U.S. Congressional hearings on welfare reform in the 1990s.
This poem, while written for women, is just as applicable to the suppression of the feminine voice – in both men & women.
How to Silence a Woman: Retrieving here Voice . . .
When someone says, “We’re saying the same thing.”
Say, “We are not saying the same thing.”
When someone says, “Don’t question, just have faith”
Say, “I am questioning vato, and I have supreme faith in what I think.”
When someone says, “Don’t defy my authority.”
Say, “There is a higher authority that I follow.”
When someone says, “Your ideas are seductive.”
Say, “No, my ideas are not seductive, they are substantial.”
When someone says, “Your ideas are dangerous”
Say, Yes, my ideas are dangerous, and why are you so afraid hombre o mujer?”
When it is said, “It’s just not done.”
Say. “It will be done.”
When it is said, “It is immature”
Say, “All life begins small and must be allowed to grow.”
When it is said, “It’s not well thought out.”
Say, “It is well thought out.”
When they say, “You’re over-reacting.”
Say, “You’re under-reacting vato.”
When they say, “You’re being emotional.”
Say, “Of course I have well placed emotions, and by the way, what happened to yours?”
When they say, “You’re not making any sense.”
Say, “I don’t make sense, I am the sense.”
When they say, “I can’t understand you when you’re crying.”
Say. “Make no mistake, I can weep and be fierce at the same time.”
When they say, “I cant understand you when you’re being so angry.”
Say. “You couldn’t hear me when I was being nice, sweet or silent, either.”
When someone says, “You’re missing the point.”
Say, “I’m not missing the point, but you seem to be missing my point— What are you so afraid of?”
When someone says, “You are breaking the rules.”
Say, “Yes, I am breaking the rules.”
When someone says, “That’s not practical.”
Say, “It’s practically a done deal, thank you very much.”
When it is said, “No one will do it, believe you, follow it.”
Say, “I will do it, I will believe in it, and in time, the world may well follow it.”
When it is said, “No one wants to listen to that.”
Say, “I know you have a hard time listening to that.”
When it is said, “It’s a closed system, you cant change it.”
Say, “I’m going to knock twice and if there is no answer, then I am going to blow the doors off that system and it will change.
When it is said, “They’ll ignore you.”
Say, “They won’t ignore me and the 100s of thousands who stand with me.
When they say, “It’s already been done.”
Say, “It’s not been done well enough.”
When they say, “It’s not time yet.”
Say “It’s way past time.”
When they say, “It’s not the right day, right month, right year.”
Tell them, “The right year was last year, and the right month was last month, and the right day was yesterday, and you’re running behind schedule vato, and what in the name of God and all that is holy are you going to do about it?”
When they say, “Who do you think you are?”— tell them who you are… and don’t hold back.
When they say, “I put up with it, you’ll have to put up with it too.” Say, “No, no, no,no.”
When they say, “I’ve suffered a long time and you’ll have to suffer too.” Say, “No, no, no,no.”
When they say, “You’re an incorrigible, defiant, hard to get along with, unreasonable woman, Say, “Yes, yes, yes, yes,
and I have worse news for you yet—
We are teaching our daughters,
our mothers,
and our sisters…
We are teaching our sons
our fathers,
and our brothers
to be just like us.
About Clarissa Estes
Clarissa Pinkola Estés is an American poet, psychoanalyst and post-trauma specialist who was raised in now nearly vanished oral and ethnic traditions. Estés is a first-generation American writer and Jungian psychoanalyst. She is the author of Women Who Run with the Wolves.
Dr. C.P. Estés’ is a lifelong activist in service of the voiceless; as a post-trauma recovery specialist and psychoanalyst of 48 years clinical practice with the persons traumatized by war, exiles and torture victims; and as a journalist covering stories of human suffering and hope.
Poem Credit
Clarissa Pinkola Estés, How to Silence a Woman: Retrieving her Voice
Clarissa’s Work:
Women who Run with the Wolves: https://tinyurl.com/23dtnzkb
Dangerous Old Woman: https://tinyurl.com/5n8p49j9
Untie the Strong Woman: https://tinyurl.com/5n8wc5th
Joyous Body: https://tinyurl.com/2jteu3mc