Are you a hustler in life? Are you over masculine in your mindset? Convinced that being driven and competitive is the best (or perhaps, the only) way to succeed in life? Does your hustler mentality leave with stress, anxiety & exhaustion? Do you find it challenging to go with the flow and tap into your feminine energies?
Then, this blog post is for you. I share practical suggestions on balancing your yin and yang energies. My intention with this blog post is to help you balance your masculine and feminine energy. So that you can thrive in your life & stand in your authentic power.
What is Masculine & Feminine energy?
All humans have both masculine and feminine energies. It is irrespective of their gender.
The masculine energy is:
- The doing part – where you go out in the world, you take action.
- The right side of the body represents masculine energy
The feminine energy is:
- The being part – where you intuitively know which direction to go, which path to take.
- Where you access your feelings and emotions.
- The left side of the body represents the feminine energy
In the majority of people, these two energies are not balanced.
How your upbringing shapes your Masculine & Feminine energies
For a moment, reflect upon your formative years (age 1-7).
- What sort of environment did you grow up in – was it competitive or relaxed?
- Was it expected for you to excel in academia?
- Did you have hobbies growing up?
- Did your parents tell you not to cry or get angry?
- Could you freely express your emotions (without judgment)?
Your answers will reveal which energies were encouraged in your younger years.
I grew up in South Asia, and academia was an integral part of my life. Getting A+ grades was the norm and expected. I was certain that drive, ambition, and competitiveness were the only qualities I needed to excel and thrive in the world.
I graduated with top honors from college. And landed a job right after college, with an Investment Bank. My life looked great on the outside, but inside was a different story. After spending a lifetime of being logical, I had no idea how to ‘be.’
How Culture perpetuates disconnection between Masculine & Feminine energy
Culture plays an integral role in shaping gender roles. It sets the blueprint for how men and women should behave.
As an example, from a young age, boys are encouraged to:
- toughen up,
- be competitive,
- not cry,
- embody all the highly masculine traits at the expense of denying their feminine energies.
Is it any wonder that men struggle in expressing & verbalizing their emotions?
Girls are encouraged to:
- dress up,
- focus on their looks,
- be nice,
- not get angry
Any surprise why girls dream of a shining knight to come and rescue them?
And so, when men and women come together in relationships and marriages, they perpetuate the imbalance in these energies through power imbalance.
When men and women come together in partnership, the end goal is to establish balance. If one partner tends to be feminine, the other will lean towards the masculine essence.
How our world encourages & rewards Masculine energy
The majority of us struggle with embodying feminine energies in our productivity-obsessed world.
Recount how often your boss has asked you to put in extra hours to complete a time-sensitive work. It’s a standard business practice. Right? Perhaps, you were happy to put in the work & get brownie points along the way.
Can you ever imagine your boss asking you to spend 3 hours daydreaming and doing nothing? You’d say, that’s unheard of. You’d probably think your boss has lost his mind.
Unfortunately, most humans have forgotten the art of being with themselves.
How lack of Emotional Wellness promotes disconnect between Head and Heart (Masculine & Feminine energies)
If you are like me, chances are you didn’t realize the importance of emotions until your adult years.
Do you know what happens when can’t breathe through anger, frustration, heartache, shame, guilt, or even fear?
Addiction. And a deep desire to control anything and everything in your world.
Humans tend to repress their emotions. Who wants to feel sad in the age of social media?
For me, a lifetime of repressed emotions came with repressed pain. I wanted to run away from the emotional pain because I felt raw, exposed, and even vulnerable.
But running away from pain would only perpetuate it. Either you address it now or at a later point. If you can feel it.
Journaling for balancing your Masculine & Feminine energies
One of the gentlest ways to balance your masculine & feminine energies is through journaling, which I started a few years into my meditation practice. After a few months of consistent journaling practice, my journal became the place of ultimate peace & comfort.
I wrote about things that weighed on my heart. It was the first time I got present to my emotions in a very tangible way. I felt as if I was getting to know emotions for the first time because I had denied their existence all my life.
One of the greatest blessings of journaling was learning about my emotional triggers. These triggers put a light on my limiting and cultural beliefs. And they also revealed which energies were dominant in me – masculine or feminine.
After a few months of journaling, I noticed that the more I acknowledged my emotions, the more I became ok with them.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t need to control every single thing around me. I could trust stepping into the unknown. Best of all, the inner balance between masculine and feminine softened my head & heart.Â
Write a letter from your Inner Masculine to Inner Feminine and vice versa
In 2018, I came across an article on the Law of Gender. The main takeaway I got from that article was:
Each of us holds a male & a female principle within us, and our job as ascending humans is to bring the polarity of forces (male & female) into neutrality.
Upon reading this article, a thought came to my mind – why not a letter from my inner male to inner female and vice versa, and see what unfolds.
I opened my journal and contemplated on these inner energies. It dawned on me that my relationship with my inner male mirrors my relationship with men in my life. And what is that relationship? There is no relationship!
My thoughts, up to that point, were in line with:
- I don’t trust men,
- I can’t be myself around men.
I knew my relationships with men needed an overhaul. And my first step was learning to befriend my inner male. As I healed the relationship between Inner masculine & masculine energies, my relationship with men started to shift.
How to Balance Your Masculine and Feminine energy?
In learning to balance the masculine and feminine energies, what I have learned is – that it means:
- Acting from a sense of direction and inner guidance
- Unifying your logic with your intuition
- Learning to strive for excellence whilst enjoying the process
- Being decisive while having compassion towards myself and others
Magic happens when we unify the wisdom of our heart with logic.
My newfound inner confidence gave me the courage to leave behind my decade-long career in IT and start afresh.
Propel your Career into the Stratosphere by balancing your Masculine & Feminine energies
A welcomed side effect of balancing the masculine and feminine energies is that – it just might skyrocket your career to new heights and growth.
I recently read an article on Forbes about the top skills employers are looking for in 2020 and beyond are:
- Creativity and
- Emotional Intelligence
Both traits are the hallmarks of feminine energies.
There are many paths to developing EQ and creativity. In my experience, learning to balance the inner masculine and feminine energy is the quickest way to get there.
The key to balancing the masculine & feminine energies is – you find the less visible component and communicate with it.
If you are dominant in masculine energy, then commit to honing your feminine energy. Consider exploring activities such as, meditation, dancing, gardening or spending time in nature. You can choose to write a letter or paint or write a story. There is no right or wrong way. What matters most is unifying the polarities.
These are a few examples. Any activity that you enjoy and gets you out of your head – make a conscious effort to do more of it.
What’s the dominant energy in you?
Curious to learn if you are dominant in your masculine or feminine energy?
Download this list and learn about the healthy & toxic masculine and feminine traits.
Wrapping up
And as your masculine & feminine energies start to unify, you will find yourself going with the flow. You will know when to pause and act. Your relationships will become a place of ultimate comfort.
I hope these suggestions were helpful. If you have any questions on this topic, please feel free to ask in the comments below. I would love to hear your thoughts.