How to Let go & Surrender to the Universe (even if you are a control freak)

Do you struggle with letting go? Do you love controlling every single detail of your life? Does Surrender feel like an alien concept to you? Wish you knew how to surrender & let things go like a pro? Then, you are in the right place. I was in your shoes not too long ago, and in this blog, I share three simple tips on how to surrender effortlessly.

Let’s first talk about what Surrender is not.

Surrender is not about giving up.
Surrender does not mean hoping & wishing that the universe will magically deliver you your dream client without you taking any action.

What Surrender means is:

Becoming a co-creator of your life with the universe
Surrender means trusting that little voice in your heart that consistently nudges you to step out of your comfort zone.
Surrender means that you don’t overanalyze or overthink your heart’s guidance
At its core, Surrender means trusting that the universe has got your back.

If you are wondering, how do I put it into practice? How do I let go? How do I surrender without pulling out my hair? Here’s how:

Step 1 Learn to tap into the wisdom of your body

Your body has innate wisdom and intelligence. Just like your latest Mac has in-built intelligence of how it processes and computes the data – so does your body.

To access your body’s intelligence, you will need to connect with your body. A simple way to connect with your body is to do things that align with your head and your heart.

Have you ever had a time when you came across a work proposal, and while it looked great on paper, something about it just felt off? Similarly, you interview a potential hire. His resume may look impressive, and yet, something doesn’t vibe.

That’s your intuition (or your heart) talking. Next time it happens, pay attention.

Ideally, you want to align with opportunities, projects, and business proposals that get a ‘Hell Yes’ both from your head and your heart.

I took this concept of tapping into the intelligence of my body to the heart.

Anytime someone asked me for a favor. Instead of immediately saying yes – I would pause and ask my body – is this a yay or nay? Only when I got a yes from both my head and my heart – would I oblige.

The upside of doing this simple exercise was that opportunities worked out a lot for me. No more thankless clients. No more dead-end scenarios. Way less mental & emotional stress.

What does aligning your head and heart have to do with Surrender? Well, everything.

Surrender is not a function of your Mental body but your Emotional body or the Feeling body. You can’t do a 7-page analysis to arrive at surrender. It is a state of being that comes from being aligned with your intuition and heart.

And so, aligning with your heart is the critical first place.

My painful story with Surrender (and how I learned to surrender the hard way?)

Like most people who overthink and overanalyze, I struggled with Surrender – A lot. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine that surrender is the foundation or the springboard through which the universe manifests your dreams!

But then, life has a way of teaching you what you need to learn the most.

A while back, I lived in New York City. Around that time, I joined a meditation school near Seattle, WA. After a few months of being at the school, I made many friends who lived in & around WA State. Meeting this group of people felt like coming home. It felt like finding my soul family.

And so, it was only a matter of time before my heart said, wouldn’t it be nice to live in Seattle?

In an ideal world, I would have packed up my bags & moved to Seattle. But without a permanent work permit, I couldn’t afford that luxury. Moving cross-country meant I first needed a job offer. And so, I set out to work.

I prayed.
I set intentions.
I sent out 100s of resumes.
I reached out to people.
I did what any Law of Attraction student would do.
And yet nothing materialized.

Despite my best efforts, I was getting no response. I would check my emails and phone every waking hour, hoping that some company from Seattle would magically hire me.

But all I got was crickets.

Two years went by, and I wondered if the universe had hit the snooze button on my prayers. By this time, I was exhausted, both mentally and emotionally. I contemplated if I should let go of this dream?

And just when I was about to let go, a job offer came along. And I eventually moved to Seattle, WA!

This manifestation revealed a significant flaw in my mindset – my inability to surrender.

Because had I known the power of Surrender:

I would have trusted in divine timing.
I would have enjoyed my life while in NYC.
Most importantly, I would have trusted my soul more than my ego-mind

I never thought of Surrender as a virtue worth developing, but the painful process of manifesting a job in WA taught me otherwise.

Step 2 Being ok with not getting what you want

The next suggestion in learning to let go and surrender is becoming Ok with not getting what you want.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but the point is, can you be happy without the thing you so desperately want in your life? Because most time, it is your attachment to an outcome that blocks you from seeing things as they are.

The more attached you are to your result or make things happen, the more blind spots you tend to have. And the more heightened your emotions tend to become.

Surrender is easing into the flow of life & trusting that there is an easier way.
Surrender happens when you stop trying so hard and trust the process.
Surrender happens when you become detached from the outcome.

You know, they say that miracles happen when you least expect them. Recently, I came across a video by a famous YouTuber, ‘Raw Kristi,’ who conceived after 15 years of infertility.

In her video, Kristi shared that before conceiving, she had made peace with the fact – that she wasn’t going to be a mom in this life. Rather than letting this painful reality dictate her life, she decided to live her best life. And when she least expected it, the miracle manifested itself.

Step 3 Viewing Life experiences from Bird’s-eye view

My third suggestion in learning to let go & surrender is that you start viewing your life experiences from 30,000 feet.

When you distance yourself from the daily minutiae of life, you can – at least to some degree – pay attention to how & where the energy is flowing in your life. From a bird’s-eye view, you can see what doors are naturally opening in your life. And which ones are closing

A few years back, I moved apartments every few months, which was highly unlike me. Further, my apartments were progressively getting smaller! At first, I thought, that’s odd but didn’t understand why.

But as I reflected on the situation from a distance, I knew it was a sign to move out of the city.

And interestingly enough, this was also the intuition I had been getting for the past few months. So in a way, my reality was confirming what my intuition had been telling me all this time.

As you start to pay attention to these cues – you’ll notice that the universe is always communicating with you through signs and symbols. You only need to heed the call.

Step 4 Keeping a flexible mind

Another important, but often overlooked element in learning to let go and surrender is developing a flexible mind.

My meditation teacher often joked that humans tend to become fixated on things they want to manifest. Daydreaming and mapping out how exactly the universe will deliver our gift.

My teacher said, but what if the universe sent your gift in different packaging or a different route? If you are so fixated on how things should look, you wouldn’t even recognize your manifestation.

So practice keeping a flexible mind to see the opportunities around you.

Meaning of Surrender

As I started practicing letting go and surrender, what I uncovered was that surrender is:

Allowing things to be how they are at this moment and not fighting it. It’s about going with the flow.
Many people think that surrender is about giving up. I was one of those people. I will also tell you that surrender is anything but giving up

Instead, Surrender means being in the now moment (the surrendered state) and taking action and then releasing your dream to the universe.

Because when your dreams align with your soul, they will always manifest in divine order and timing.

Side Effect of Surrender

A welcome side effect of practicing Surrender that I briefly mentioned earlier in the blog is inner peace. In a surrendered state, you will ok not knowing all the answers.

You will ease into the ‘now’ moment. And in that state of presence, you will finally ‘feel’ that the universe was on your side. Always has & always will be.

Ego Mind vs. Higher Mind

Another practical suggestion in learning to let go and surrender is reminding yourself of who’s in charge of your life – your Soul/ Higher Self.

Your ego might trick you into believing that it is the one calling the shots. But as you quiet your mind and learn to surrender – you will realize the driver behind the wheels of your life is your soul/universe/god (however you name it).

And so, if things don’t work out for you in the short term, don’t fuss about them. Know there is a bigger plan for you and your life (aka your soul’s plan). And that you are being divinely guided at every moment.

Surrender and the Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction teaches us to focus on the outcome. Yes, you want to focus on your desire, but you don’t want to obsess about the results.

Desire + Obsession = Recipe for Heartache/ Anger/ Confusion
Desire + Action + Surrender = Recipe for Co-creating your life with the Universe

Surrender in Action

To easily let go and surrender, work with the affirmation:

Affirmation: I choose to have preferences but not attachments.

If I was manifesting a job in WA today, the first thing I reaffirm in my mind is it is my preference (and not a compulsive obsession) to live in WA.

Knowing that something is a preference (vs. making something ‘happen’ against all odds) automatically relaxes your mind. And for that relaxed state, you want to take inspired action. Because when you do, you get instant access to co-creating your life with the universe

Surrender and Mental Wellness

When people struggle with mental and emotional stress, often the root cause is their inability to surrender. It takes strength & courage to accept things as they are. Because as long as you are fighting your circumstance, there is no way you can step outside of them.

Trust me on this – I speak from experience. A few questions I want to reflect on and ponder are:

What would it take for you to trust the universe (if only a teeny-tiny bit)?
Why are you afraid of Surrender?
What benefit(s) can you think of from surrendering?

Sometimes having clarity on patterns can help you can be unstuck & can help shift energy.

Wrapping up on How to Surrender,

Finally, I will leave you with this – as you start practicing Surrender, you will feel much less tension, anxiety, and exhaustion. You will find it easier to accept yourself and others just as they are.

And as you surrender to your soul’s plan & mission, you might find that it leads to your highest destiny potential. And perhaps, the destination might be even grander than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.